Terrible as it is, I judge people all day long. By their appearances or by their book choices. I have very little power in the world, but I do exercise what I've got. Meaning that what I think of you influences how hard I'll look for the book for you, or whether I'll bend the rules and let you use two coupons, or even give you one you didn't know was available. So, if you're buying the CD of a band I like, for instance, you're going to win points. Or if I find you attractive or polite.
On the other hand, there are some sure fire ways to make me think you are too stupid to deserve anything but the absolute minimum of customer service. One way is to buy the book Love & Respect by Emerson E. Eggerichs. I don't even need to open it to know this book is garbage. The subtitle is, "The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs."
Um. Say what?
I first saw someone buying it several months ago. It was this sort of older, quiet seeming Asian man, and I instantly pictured him beating his wife at home. After I first noticed it, I began to see other men buying it as well, and entertained similar ideas. I think any man demanding respect from women is probably going to come off that way to me.
Then I started seeing women and couples buying it. It's selling with increasing regularity. It infuriates me because honestly, what could be more of a step back in terms of gender equality? I know this is a household sort of matter and not something that should affect the way things are done in business and politics. But honestly, if these people are procreating, we are just going to keep having men who think love is for girls and sissies and keep having women who don't expect respect. I mean, really? Only women want love, and only men need respect?
You are a damn fool if you think both love and respect aren't important to every human being on the planet, regardless of gender. PEOPLE desire love and PEOPLE need respect. Oh, and that's the other thing about the subtitle, in its wording, this asshole is giving love/women less of a priority. After all, the men "need" respect but the women only "desire" (want) love. Well, we all know that needs take precedence over wants, so which does he think is more important here? Screw this idiot, and screw all the people that read this bullshit! Honestly! Love is not only something we want, it's something we're hardwired to need to be happy. And respect isn't just something we need, it's something we earn.
We shelve it in the "Relationships" section, which actually means Bible crap disguised as advice. Oh yeah, if you're going to read this blog don't expect me to show any reverence for religion. Partly because of crap like this.
Hey everyone, follow "God's plan" for your marriage you and you can fall into antiquated gender roles! It's how life is supposed to be! Yay!
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2 comments:
Resident religious-nut here to call broad generalization: IMO it's unfair to say that all self-help relationship books are 'bible crap'... because alot are also new-agey crap, or 'generic traditional roles' crap or positive thinking crap or whatever else crap - sans any actual biblical content/notions.
I loathe all self-help/relationship books too, but to say they are majorly bible based is I think, statistically incorrect. There's a lot of whack thinking out there - not just religious-fundamental-type.
Regardless, actual Biblical notions on relationships and such would not fall into the stereotypical pink/blue prepackaged gender role crap that it is often preached to be. I would back that up with quotes and such but this comment is already much too long and mildly defensive :)
You have every right to be defensive, since I my post was pretty hostile.
I'd like to clarify about the "Relationships" section. It is not part of the self-help section. Believe me, I hate the garbage in that as well. Our categories have sub-categories, so the location of the book in question goes something like this: Religion - Christian Life - Relationships/Family Life.
And if I may help you defend your point that this book should not represent the stance of all Christians on relationships, there is a really interesting review on goodreads.com by a girl named Amber, she gave it one star because it is mostly based on a single verse.
I hope I didn't offend you too much. Sometimes I forget not all my friends are sans religion.
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